1. |
Where I Left It
00:55
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I never meant to fall apart
I don't remember how it happened
I lost a piece of me somewhere
And I don't know where I left it
But I swear I'm gonna find it
And fix it
I'll retrace all my footsteps
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2. |
As Good As It Gets
03:06
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I spent the night in a truck stop parking lot
Just to be anywhere but home
And you called me as you watched me from around the corner
While I was sitting in a photo booth alone
And it's the sweetest thing that anyone's done for me
I keep the pictures with the coupons close in the passenger seat
And for a week I sort of fell for you
And convinced myself that maybe you could fall for me
But when I poured my guts out in metaphor
You said you didn't know what to say but it's probably for the best
Cause either way when I get home from tour
You'll be halfway across the state and I'll still be a mess
And I guess this is as good as it gets for now
My friends keep telling me to just wait it out
Can't we pretend for the night that I'm something worth your time
Can't we pretend for the night
I said that if I ever meet and you told me I meant when
I guess I just got hopeless I wonder when that happened
I said that if I ever meet and you told me I meant when
I guess I just got hopeless I wonder when that happened
Jolynn keeps telling me I'm dragging my feet
I guess I've always been that way
I stopped watching the sun come up over the Kankakee
When you couldn't stay awake to watch it with me
And I guess this is as good as it gets for now
My friends keep telling me to just wait it out
Can't we pretend for the night that I'm something worth your time
Can't we pretend for the night
I never wanted to fall
I knew you wouldn’t catch me
Let’s not pretend like I ever thought you were something that would make me happy
I never wanted to fall
I knew you wouldn’t catch me
I knew you wouldn’t catch me
I never wanted to fall
I knew you wouldn’t catch me
Let’s not pretend like I ever thought you were something that would make me happy
I never wanted to fall
I knew you wouldn’t catch me
At least you gave me something to fall for
And I guess this is as good as it gets for now
My friends keep telling me to just wait it out
I’m done waiting around
Can't we pretend for the night that I'm something worth your time
Can't we pretend for the night that I’m something worth your time
Can’t we pretend for the night
That for once this all works out and I’d be good enough this time
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3. |
Eventually
02:08
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When I was only three
I used to dream
About a girl
Hand in hand
She'd run from all of the monsters with me
Then I grew up
And all of the monsters got bigger
And she never showed up
It's so hard without you here
I'm so dependent dear
I need you to hold me together
But you'll show up eventually
And I'll wait for you forever
Adolescence left me buckled at the knees
But I picked myself up and tried to teach myself to be happy
I came to expect so many things that would happen to me
I built up a lifetime in my head a perfect little fantasy
It helped to have something to look forward to
It helped to believe that I was waiting for you
But you can only wait so long until it all seems pointless
And I spent too much time ignoring the problems
Just waiting for someone else to come and fix this
It's so hard without you here
I'm so dependent dear
I need you to hold me together
I'll give you another year
I'll just avoid my fears
And wait for you to come make it better
Cause you'll show up eventually
And I'll wait for you forever
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4. |
||||
Dear me
Six years ago today
You were always holding out for something
And it just never came
And I'm sorry
I'm sorry for where we're at
I'm sorry I never figured out
How to not be so fucking sad
At least I can promise that we'll always have each other
But I can't promise I won't ever let you down
Just don't forget to pretend that it gets better than this
Just don't forget to pretend that it gets better than
Dear me
I know how hard it's been
But you can’t just let it win
You have to keep on fighting
I know that you’re not much for conflict
But life's gonna throw some fists
Just don't let it get the best of you
You have to save the best for something more than this
At least I can promise that we'll always have each other
But I can't promise I won't ever let you down
Just don't forget to pretend that it gets better than this
Just don't forget to pretend that it gets better than
Dear me
Don't forget about the good that you've got
Whether you like it or not
It's not as bad as you make it seem
Cause it's all in how you look at things
And when you figure that out then you'll be happy
And I swear to you that we will always have each other
And you can sleep at night knowing I’ll never let you down
Just don't forget to pretend that it gets better than this
Just don't forget to pretend that it gets better than this
Just don't forget to pretend that it gets better than this
Just don't forget to pretend that it gets better than
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5. |
Cheap Seats
02:25
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Why is no one awake right now
I've been making myself sick
I keep throwing up in the basement
At least I'm getting something out
I'm taking turns spilling guts onto paper
And spilling guts onto the ground
So I wrote a couple pages out
And I tried to lay down
I wrote a couple pages out
And tried to lay down
But I don't sleep
I just lay here and think
And let every little thing
Cave in on me
Tell me I’m not drowning
Cause I can’t breathe
This isn't what I wanted
This isn't who I'm supposed to be
Why am I still awake right now
I stopped drinking coffee
But I don't think it helped
I'm sick of always getting anxious and driving around
Gas isn't getting cheaper
And there's nowhere to go in this town
So I wrote a couple pages out
And I tried to lay down
I wrote a couple pages out
And tried to lay down
But I don't sleep
I just lay here and think
And let every little thing
Cave in on me
Tell me I’m not drowning
Cause I can’t breathe
This isn't what I wanted
This isn't who I'm supposed to be
I need to figure myself out
I need to pick up all these pieces
There's a bigger picture here
And someday I'm gonna see it
And I’m sure it's fucking gorgeous
It has to be
This is just a smudge in the corner
These are just the cheap seats
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6. |
Footsteps
00:31
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I’ve been happy here before
I’ll be happy here again
I’ll wait it out in this truck stop parking lot
‘Til everything makes sense
I’ll retrace all my footsteps
I’ll retrace all my footsteps
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7. |
Back Roads
03:24
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I've been driving thirty down these back roads all damn year
I've been driving past my house and thinking of never going back there
I turned down state line and took the wrong way home
Cause I can't stand the thought of spending another night in bed alone
I can't do it again
I don't want to wake up all alone
I'd rather sleep parked here on the train tracks
And never have to go back home
I'm no stranger to staying up late, shaking with chest pains, and cursing at myself
But it's been so much worse these last few months
And the help groups just don't help
I'm not breaking I think I already broke
Somewhere out on the east coast
I thought it'd help to not be so alone
But I was all caught up in people and places I didn't know
I felt stranded
I didn't know where to go
Now I find myself needing to be alone
I never used to be that way
I've been ignoring my cell phone
I've been hiding away
I feel so uninspired
I feel so out of place
I can't do it again
The backseat was fucking torture
Just trying to hold myself together
With the van a fucking mess and me not any better
I'm no stranger to staying up late, shaking with chest pains, and cursing at myself
But it's been so much worse since I got back
And the help groups just don't help
I’m taking detours to work ‘cause 55's been closed all year
I ‘m just trying to find a better way to get there
And I guess my head's sort of in the same place I just can't get where I need to be
But I'm gonna keep on trying to get there I'm gonna try to fix me
I’m taking detours to work ‘cause 55's been closed all year
I’m just trying to find a better way to get there
And I guess my head's sort of in the same place I just can't get where I need to be
But I'm gonna keep on trying to get there I'm gonna try to fix me
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